The Auckland housing market is utterly broken. Today, with the assistance of my friend Chris, we’re going to play “Would you rather . . . ?”

Would you rather own a charming family bungalow in Auckland with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a lovely garden, and a pool . . . (Price tag US$2.545 million)

. . . or a legit mansion in Minneapolis with 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms, and room for an elaborate hedge maze. (Price tag US$1.75 million)

That gives you enough left over to buy a cute little Minneapolis 4-bed 4.5 bath for US$789,900, to bring in some rental income.

Too rich for your budget? I can do you an Auckland 1930s California Bungalow with 5 bedrooms, one family bathroom plus ensuite, a back lawn and a shed for only US$1.5 million.

Aaaand this is why I am leaving.

I won’t lie. I still feel like a loser who will always have to confess in a whisper, with a hitch in my voice, “Yeah, I couldn’t make it in Auckland.”