I am not playing Pokemon Go.
If you’re not familiar with Assassin it’s a real world game, often played in a closed environment like a high school, college, or, surreptitiously, in a large office, in which an organizer assigns you to a team, and you must ‘assassinate’ other teams, or specific players, by hitting them with projectile objects, or physically marking them.
Nerf guns with foam pellets were once popular. In high school we played with plastic replica guns which fired tiny two-inch darts that definitely could have taken someone’s eye out. We’d last approximately .0002 seconds these days before we were a) arrested (best case scenario), b) tazed or c) shot (the US outcome).
A few of the many benefits of playing Assassin:
Forget catching tiny animated creatures. I prefer to hunt The Most Dangerous Game.
The same exact same game mechanic that works for Pokemon Go will be perfect for Assassin. Think of it like Grindr, but instead of hooking up, you take them out at sixty yards with a virtual sniper rifle. And I’ll be awesome, because I look utterly harmless, but I have the blood lust of Vigo the Carpathian, a competitive streak the size of the Eurasian steppes, and I’m sneaky as fuck.
I have my money ready. Bring me the virtual slaughter, please.