My April Beer of the Month is the HopWired IPA, from the 8 Wired Brewing Co. (yeah, yeah; it’s May: sue me.)

8 Wired say, “We’re pretty sure HopWired is the first bottled new world India Pale Ale made with NZ grown pale ale malt and 100% unique NZ hops.” Which sounds vastly impressive, but I don’t even care, because all I do care about is that this shit is delicious. Will drink again. Repeatedly. It tasted like tangerine and pineapple, with an amazing herby, earthy, peppery blast of hops.

The only thing I’m disappointed in is the name. HopWired? C’mon, guys, that’s not even trying. It’s a legal requirement that craft beers need titles to make you  groan. Beer names are akin to dad jokes.

Puns get a bad rap. They’re seen as uncouth, easy, lazy, and cheap. Which is entirely unfair. Shakespeare punned non-stop. Paul Joel Freeman spent a whole book breaking down categories of puns into tables to explain why they’re funny (because that is a thing that makes them funnier, right?) But stick a pun on beer and all is forgiven (you could even say it becomes Rye Wit). A pint of Hoptimus Prime, anyone?

Or Hoptical Illusion? What about Sweet Child of Vine? Hoppy Ending. That’s linguistic gold, my friends. I have a soft spot a mile deep for beer puns. Yes, even for this Bierbitzch beer mat.

When you put it up against Hopothesis, Phantom of the Hopera, or Me, My Spelt, and Rye, HopWired lies on the drip-covered floor like a recalcitrant two-year-old, sad and forlorn, refusing to move. So, come on, 8 Wired crew. Drink more. Brainstorm. I require more groaning. Just don’t touch the recipe, because it’s perfect.

P.S. Personal favorite beer name of all time: 1.21 Gigahops.